Monday, October 6, 2008

Backstory and the Bye Week

I'm not trying to say that I'm not a pretty lucky yellow dog- I mean, my food guy's pretty good as far as food guys go. He takes me running most everyday, we go hiking all the time, and I get to go on lots of walks. But sometimes, he makes some stupid bets. 

You see, Me and my food guy (the guy in the stupid redleg-blackleg pants in the picture) live in Athens, Georgia. We're pretty big BullDawg fans. I mean, how can you not be a fan?! Knowshon, Stafford, Blackout Games, A football crazy town. It is the southeast after all. After destroying Florida last year (who cares if Tebow wasn't himself that day), we went on a great run and if we hadn't blown it and lost to The Great Pumpkin earlier in the year  we would have had a legitimate claim to the crystal ball. So, pardon our confidence going into this season. 

Maybe the food guy was a little too confident- if you know what I mean. One of his friends went to 'Bama, and in true Southern fashion she understand football like girls up North understand Emily Dickinson Poetry. She can explain pass interference and intentional grounding to the stupid frat boys in the crowd in terms even they can understand. Last year, my food guy makes this bet with her for the 'Bama game. Of course the Dawgs take care of business, and she has to wear a beautiful t-shirt to the Braves game the next day. 

So, the food guy makes this bet with her this year. If we win, she would have to wear that shirt every saturday for the rest of the year. If we lose, he has to wear these dumb pants every saturday. Well, if you don't live under rock, you know Coach Satan and 'Bama kicked our trash this year (don't worry we'll get another shot at them). So, now I've gotta walk around with my food guy wearing these silly, fratastic pants every saturday. 

Look, I'm not complaining. I mean like I said, at least I don't get left home all the time like most dogs. I get to go lots of places.

 And it's not like I have to actually go into restaurants, grocery stores, and places like that with him while people are laughing. But, I do have to go everywhere else with him.

This week was the Bye week. Good for the Dawgs. Bad for me. You see, the boys are a little banged up right now. We needed a week off to heal up and get ready to play a Top-25 team in each of the next three weeks, after we play the Great Pumpkin's boys this week between the Hedges. See, first we have to redeem ourselves and stomp the Vols. Then we play #13 Vandy (Yes, I know pack your parkas and get in the handbasket, Vandy is ranked #13). After that we go on the road to meet #4 LSU and then to the Cocktail Party for a date with Urban and the #11 Gators. Let's not even talk about the rest of our schedule. Scary stuff!   So, I'm happy we had a week off. The downside was: No game to go to meant hanging around with the food guy without a game to excuse the wearing of the pants. 

I thought we might slide through the bye week without the pants, but the girl at Gibson's Men's Wear seemed pretty keen to see the food guy walking out of the store in those pants ASAP- so she put them on the tailor's fast track. 

Food Guy picked them up Saturday afternoon. Just in time for a what he called "a very embarrassing trip" to the Kroger. I wouldn't know. For some reason they don't let dogs in Kroger. If you ask me, that's reason enough not to shop there. They let dogs in Petsmart! Shop there. Buy Dog Bones!!!! Anyway, then we loaded up in the crashed up Corolla and headed over to George and Elisha's for a cookout. You can't even imagine how fast the "Nice Pants" comments started flying. I kinda felt bad for poor Food Guy. He really doesn't deserve to be made fun of for having confidence in his team. But, I stopped feeling bad for him because George's dog Lucy immediately started making fun of me for having a Food Guy who wears stupid pants. Lucy, like lots of girls, can be kind of cruel. She plays nice with me when she wants too, but if I try to pick up one of her toys, she's kinda mean to me. She spent most of the cookout making fun of my Food Guy. I guess she figured she had to since all the people were making fun of him. We had fun anyway, and it got dark before too long. 

Next week should be a good one. Fat Phil and his gang of hillbillies come to town at 3:30. Food Guy should be able to blend in with the Frat Boys a little bit at the tailgate, and by the time he picks me up for the weekly cookout after the game it will be almost dark. So, I shouldn't have to spend too much time outside in the daylight with my poorly dressed Food Guy. 

So check back each week for my updates on what the food guy did while wearing his stupid pants. I might even let him write a guest spot or two for me- sometimes  even a yellow dog has to sleep on the couch and watch football instead of sitting at a computer. It is kinda hard to type with my big-goofy dog feet. 


southern girl talks football said...

hey yellow dog, we didn't get to find out where the pants went this week...the glory of the red leg, black leg pants and how the crowd loved 'em!

southern girl talks football said...

but I think you did a great job on the blog even typing with your dog feet ;)

southern girl talks football said...

sorry that you still have to go on lots of Saturday walks with the redlegblackleg pants and the Food Guy, YD. January will be here before you know it!

sean mcauley said...

I've been trying to teach my dog to type so she can write all my papers for me, although I'm not sure I agree with her epistemological stance, so I'd still have to edit them when she was done. Oh, well; I guess doing a little work is ok.

PS, be careful Yellow Dog, you might have to wear the pants soon, or even worse: a sweater.

southern girl talks football said...

there is extra material left over for yellow dog to have his own pants :)

Lorraine said...

YellowDog - I am anxious to meet you. It will be odd to see your embarassed food guy with the crazy pants - he sounds like some sheep defacing person. Just make suretha you continue to "bark" and never decide to "baa". Will meet you soon!