Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Freedom from the cone of shame

Big news today, everybody. I got my staples out, so I don't have to wear that damn cone anymore. It was getting really old. The Food Guy has started teaching summer school, and he's been gone all day everyday. I know, I know. It was only two days into the week. But, they were two LONG days. He'd be gone from 9-5, come home and hang out with me for an hour, then leave again to go running (without me!). Well, I still can't go running with him, but I don't have to walk around with the giant torture device around my head. Plus, I don't begrudge him his running. I know he's training for a good cause. The 100 Miles For Swisher run is a pretty big deal in case you haven't heard.

The Vet said I'm healing quickly. Well, of course I am. I already have full range of motion in my dog leg. See, I've been doing super-secret rehab training while the Food Guy is at work. I'm not some fat-ass, people-food eating, lazy dog. I'm a bionic trailrunning, backcountry skiing, crag-chillin, Yellow Dog. You just can't keep me down for long. The Food Guy said I still can't go hiking for a month at least. I have to stay on leash for the next 8 weeks. I still can't play with my doggie friends for a couple of months. That's not cool, but I'll survive. I've been doing a great job of keeping my dog bed from floating up to the ceiling. That can be hard work too. I go back to the Vet July 12th to get the final X-Rays. I expect the Vet will say, "You, my yellow friend, are the picture of health." I can't wait.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Bionic (Six MIllion Dollar) Dog Comes Home

Hey everybody, I haven't been blogging much because the Food Guy hasn't let me go on too many adventures lately. As you know, I hurt my knee a while back. He was hoping that rest would do the trick and I'd heal on my own. Well, I'm sad to report that rest didn't work. He loaded me up in the mobile dog house on Monday, and we headed down to Charlotte. I thought, "Cool, I'm finally getting to go somewhere." I should have been suspicious. He's been leaving me home for the last couple of months and sneaking out on his training runs (You know, for his 100 mile fundraiser run for Always Brothers). So when I saw the running shoes in the back of the truck I foolishly hoped he'd finally decided that I could go with him this time. Nope. He wasn't going for a run. He was taking me down to Charlotte so I could get a metal place installed in my leg. Ugh! In case you were wondering, this is not a fun adventure. I mean, the doctor was really nice and all the Vet techs and other Vets who worked at the place were really nice. In fact, I didn't suspect anything really bad was about to happen on Monday.

See, on Monday we went to the Vet and they pulled on my leg a bunch just like the other two Vets the Food Guy has taken me to see did. I was thinking. OK, I know how this works: they pull and prod and then send me back home. Then, the Food Guy will give me some drugs for a few days again, leave me home while he goes and runs 30 miles, and that'll be it. When we left the Vet Monday afternoon I thought I was home free. I was sadly, sadly mistaken.

The Food Guy took me BACK to the same Vet on Tuesday morning. I though, "Oh, crap. This isn't good." Then, he looked very, very sad as the Vet took me into the back. I could see him trying to put on a face that said, "No worries, Little Buddy I'll see you in a bit." But, I could tell that he was worried. So, I got worried for a second. Then, the Vet tech started petting me, and I forgot all about what was going on. The Food Guy slipped my mind, and I followed her back to their medieval torture chamber. They hooked me up to a bunch of machines, gave me a shot, and then proceeded to shave my WHOLE damn left leg. I think that was a little over the top. I look like one of the crazy looking Chinese Crested dogs. No fur on my leg. Seriously, it's a good thing winter is over!

Well, the next thing I know I wake up and, man I'm in a lotta pain. There's this giant bandage on my leg, and I can only stand on three of my four dog legs. Whisky Tango Foxtrot! Right?! I had to stay at the Vet's last night, which wasn't all bad because it's one of those 24 hours places. That means that there are people there all the time checking on you. That was pretty cool. I was getting lots and lots of attention, which y'all know I like. But, the pain. Well, that just sucks. As if that wasn't bad enough, they put this giant lampshade on my head.

I know, right?! It's terrible. I can't walk around without hitting anything. I was so happy when the Food Guy and his Dad came to spring me from the joint. All I could do was look at the Food Guy and say, "Get me outta here! And get this damn lampshade off of my head!" I couldn't get him to take it off. But, he did pick me up and put me in the backseat of the truck. That was pretty nice of him. I got to ride home to Camp Z in style.

When we got home, the Food Guy finally took the lampshade off. He told me I only have to wear it when he's sleeping or at work. Good thing for me that summer school doesn't start for another week. He'll be home most days, so it'll be like old times. I'll sit at his feet while he writes and reads all of his silly books. The Vet says it'll be about 3 months before I can go back to full-time adventuring, but I'll keep you posted on my recovery. The best news of the day: My hips are in perfect shape. No hip problems for me. That's pretty sweet. So, once this knee heals up, I'll be good to go.

Well, y'all take care. I'll be sleeping if you need me.