Hellgate 2018: Thoughts from a First-Timer

I haven’t written a race report since Bighorn 100 this summer, but I’ve done a little racing since then. I did High Bridge 50K in October looking to see if I could get the legs moving for a fast 50 K. I’m still chasing a sub 4 hour 50K (I hit 4:00:58 at New River Trail a few years ago). High Bridge didn’t work out. I had to settle for 4:17, which was good for 5^th overall. 

I parlayed that fitness into a solid day at JFK 50 miler in November. I thought I might be able to sub 8 there, but I couldn’t find the turnover on the tow path, and settled for 8:39. This was a good time at an iconic race. But, it wasn’t the complete day I was hoping to have. That’s OK. This is what I love about running ultras: Chasing dreams and learning about how to get better.  

My work year allowed me one more opportunity to see what my legs could do in 2018. David Horton accepted my application for Hellgate this year, so I was pumped to toe the line at this “special race” for the first time. To be honest, I had no idea what kind of time was realistic, but I decided to shoot for Sub 14 hours. 

Here’s the story about what happened. 

Side Note: If you want the BEST info to prep for this race, check out Aaron Schwartzbard’s blog

Racing Hellgate for the First Time: 

I’ll skip all the normal preparation talk other than to say that I tried to get some sleep after I dropped PT off at daycare Friday morning. What you need to know here is that Hellgate starts at 12:01 am. That means most folks arrive at the start after already being awake all day. That was essentially the case for me. I managed to get about 45 minutes of sleep before Josh came to pick me up Friday afternoon. We grabbed Sean and headed to Camp Bethel for packet pick up  and the race brief. Once all the niceties were out of the way, Josh, Sean, Ryan, and I drove to the start to try to catch a couple of ZZZs before the 12:01 am start. 

The energy at the start line was electric. The race really did feel special from the start. I gave Jordy, Hannah, Jonathan, and Darren a quick high five and said: See ya at the finish. Then, I walked back to my spot with Chris Miller, Ryan, and Sean a couple of rows back. 

We sang the National Anthem and O Holy Night before Horton said GO!

And off into the cold night we went. 

It was cold.

As far as Hellgate weather goes we were really lucky. It was a clear and beautiful night. No rain, no snow falling, and very little wind. But, it was cold. I’d later be very happy I chose to wear tights and a jacket. I only wish I had brought an extra buff to serve as a “tater buff” (looking at you John Anderson/ Sean Raines has made this part of his game for a long time) because I had to hike one of the later climbs with my hands stuff inside my tights. My hands weren’t what was cold. You get the picture, I’m sure. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Here’s an elevation profile with Aid Station info: 

Section by Section Story of the Race

I had broken the race down into 5 sections to help manage the distance. 

Section 1:  Start- AS 3 Camping GAP 

Ryan and I ran pretty much every step of the climb to AS 2 at Petites Gap. We were running comfortably, chatting, and enjoying the miles ticking off. It was so cool to look back down the switchbacks and see the train of lights coming up behind us. Through Camping Gap Ryan and I were just about perfectly on my sub 14 hour predictions. 

Section 2: Camping Gap to AS 5 Jennings Creek

A little bit after Camping Gap, I mentioned how close we were to my planned splits for sub 14 to Ryan, and he said: Man, that’s a dream time. It wasn’t for him. On the next technical descent, he cruised off into the night. I had to let him go. I couldn’t hold that pace. We were having a blast together, but I had to stick to an effort that felt sustainable. Time started slipping away here, but I felt strong and made the choice to keep a steady effort that wouldn’t result in a bad fall in all the leaf litter. 

As I ran the ups and downs heading to Headforemost Mtn, the cold really started to settle in. I was grateful for the new tights I bought from Runabout on Thursday (Thanks, they were awesome! And Yes: I enjoy the thrill of trying something new on race day). 

But, here is where I really hit my low point for the race. One comes in every race. This one was early. It was where I had to do all the bargaining and all the thinking about WHY I’m doing this. 

Finding the why was really easy this time. Ginger and Paul were going to be at the finish. For me, the why was so easy: Set the example. WE can do hard things. 

So, I kept pushing myself to climb strong and descend smart, but fast. The “Horton Miles” were weighing on me. I was frustrated because my time predictions were spot on for where I “should” be based on distance, but not for where the actual aid stations were. I knew this might be the case. I had tried to do some conversions based on data I could find on Strava. But my guesses were wrong. And my margin for error was nothing. It was be on pace for Horton Miles or go over 14 hours.

I wasn’t on pace for the reality of the mileage on the course. I had made an error in planning what I thought I could do and what my legs could really do. But, I kept pushing. I forced myself to just keep hope alive that I might magically be able to run the last section faster than I thought. A big part of being successful in ultras (I think) is being able to ignore the numbers. If you don’t try to outrun reality, you never will. So, I did my best impression of a cartoon character who sees the ground dissipate under his feet. I kept running along thinking I might find traction in the thin, cold air. 

Section 3: AS 5 Jennings Creek to AS 7 Bearwallow Gap

I came into the first crew spot at Jennings Creek about 45 minutes after I needed to get there for sub 14. I was also badly in need of a change of clothes.

I was wet and cold. 

Luckily, I was greeted by the smiling faces of Pawel, Josh, and Brett, and Butch. They got me changed, fed, and on my way in good spirits. 

(I've never had to put on my puffy coat while changing my socks. I'm glad I did here) 

I walked out of there stuffing my face with all the food they gave me with this mantra in my head: Survive and Advance. Light Always Follows Dark. 

To be honest, I was proud that it was still dark when I left Jennings Creek. That meant I was still on pace to have a time I could be happy with. I just had to keep pushing. As I climbed the gravel road out of there, I turned off my headlamp so I could enjoy the early morning darkness and catch every ray of the first light. There were probably some pitches of that climb that I should/could have run. I was trying to measure my effort so that I would be able to run hard at the end. I maybe have left a little in the tank. Maybe. Maybe not. A lesson for next time. 

I focused on getting to Bearwallow Gap where I could pick up Josh. I kept eating and drinking and reminding myself that I was lucky to be in this race. I also kept the advice from Jordy fresh in my mind about not settling or talking myself into being happy with less than my potential. That would prove to be crucial thinking later. 

Section 4: AS 7 Bearwallow Gap to AS 9 Day Creek

I came into Bearwallow in need of another change of clothes. I wasn’t happy to lose another bit of time in an Aid Station, but it was the smart move. I had take care of my body to take care of my mind.  That meant I had to avoid the chafe monster to set myself up to run these last 20 miles hard. 

And, it’s only 20 miles from Bearwallow to the finish. Don’t get confused by all the different information out there. For this one you can actually believe Horton when he tells you it’s really only 20 miles. The “Horton Miles” really all happen before Bearwallow Gap. Brett, Pawel, and Josh got me fed, changed, and out of there without wasting too much time. And then we were off. 

Josh and I climbed strong out of Bearwallow heading towards Bobblets Gap. I kept eating and drinking and dreaming of breaking 15 hours even though the math would say it was not really possible. Cartoon character thinking is important. We got through Bobblets (AS 8) quickly. It was a grab food and go situation. Then, we suffered through the “forever” section. Aptly named because it feels like it goes on forever. You keep winding and winding. Up and down. Back and forth. You get the idea. 

I had trashed my ankle on this section pacing Brett a few years ago, so my goal was to keep it vertical. I almost managed to pull that off, but not quite. I fell twice in this section, but managed to avoid any injuries or blood. I ran everything I could run, and hiked where I was falling because of all the leaf litter that was hiding the rocks. 

Section 5: AS 9 Day Creek to the Finish: 3 up and 3 down.

Josh and I rolled into the last aid station (Day Creek), and Brett sorted me out quickly. He made me take a flask of Mountain Dew, and this was clutch. Other than the bit of food I snagged at the aid station and one more gel, this would be all I ate for the last six miles. But, it was enough.

I hiked the last climb steady if not fast. Then, I did my best Pawel impression and tried to drop Josh on the final descent. Everything hurt. Bad. But, I knew it would hurt the same if I ran fast or slow. And the faster I ran, the faster I would see Ginger and Paul. 

That was my main objective: Finish this thing strong and see my family. Here Jordy’s advice really paid off. 15 hours had come and gone. But I was still racing. I was racing myself and trying to pass anyone I could see in the distance. 

Mile 65 clocked in at 8:08 followed by a 7:09 for mile 66. I am pleased with that. I was able to snag a couple of spots I’d lost in the finishing order in the “forever” section, which was a nice bonus. But the best part: Seeing Ginger and PT when I came around the corner to the finish.

That little guy can MOVE!

It just doesn't get any better than this! 

My final time: 15:45:49

This was 1:50 slower than I my “dream” time. I had 45 minutes of non-running time. That’s far too much for a 100K. Heck, that’s more than I want in a 100 miler. The reality is that I had 30 minutes of unplanned AS time. Two lessons here: First, I should have stuck with my normal compression shorts under my tights. The insulated compression shorts I wore caused a bit of the chafing problem and I had to change twice to address that. Second, I should have managed that better and changed faster. But, that’s the cool thing about ultras: You always learn a lesson about how to get better. 

So, what do I think of Hellgate? 

It really is an amazing event. It’s small, intimate, and an awesome challenge. I knew it would be hard. But, it was harder than I thought it would be. It’s 66.6 miles and not 100, but I think you can’t try to pace it like you would any old 100K. You have to treat it with the respect of a 100 miler. I’m glad that I did. If I hadn’t let Ryan go early, I think I would have ended up blowing up in spectacular fashion. Pacing it smart allowed me to finish it strong. And, I’m happy with that. 

If you get a chance, you should do Hellgate. Horton puts on an amazing race, and he really does care about every runner out there. He makes sure first and last are taken care of equally. The aid stations are top notch, and the volunteers are amazing. Thank you all!!

Running Ultras and Living a Balanced Life

I’ve written about this before, but it’s worth saying again: Ultra running is a hobby. Just like tinkering with cars, building model trains, or fishing. Any hobby can enrich your life. You just have to be careful to strike a balance. That’s been a big goal for me since PT was born. I want to set an example for him that involves chasing dreams, doing hard things, and learning from both success and failure. For me, it’s become increasingly important to figure out how to excel at my hobby without my family wondering where I am all the time. I think I’m getting better and finding time to run while also ensuring that family time is my priority. I need to keep getting better, but Hellgate was a nice indicator that I can run a lot and still be present at home. It just means getting up early, running after bedtime, and running at lunchtime. 

Yes. Sure, I wish I had run faster. But, it was my first time at this race. I think you have to learn how to run Hellgate to run faster at Hellgate. This might seem obvious. But there are sections of the course where I think it really pays to know how they’re going to feel. So, my time was slower than I wanted, but I am quite happy with my mental game this time around. Unlike BigHorn, I never allowed myself to just be “happy” with the clock and slog it in. That’s been a challenge for me in longer races. Jordy has been encouraging me to put an entire race together at the longer distances. I think I’m getting closer to that, and I’m hoping to build on the success I had in this area at Hellbender 100 in April. 

I am eternally grateful for Ginger supporting me and helping me go chase these dreams. Having her and PT at the finish was so important to me! 

Thanks to Josh Clemmons for some expert level pacing. 

Thanks to Pawel and Brett for the crewing. 

Congrats to Sean on his first 100K finish. Proud of you, buddy! 

Thanks for reading. 

MMTR 50: All You Need is Proper Motivation.

After getting a solid helping of humble pie at Grindstone 100 in October, I took the opportunity to do some reflecting, and writing that blog post was helpful in terms of finding my way back to why I started running long distances in the mountains in the first place. One change from those early days (North Georgia Adventuring with Reeve during Grad School) that I just can’t shake and don’t want to shake is a desire to have my best result when I do actually enter a race. Running with Jordy, Brett, Pawel, Sean, Rick, and the rest of the BBurg crew (looking at you VT Ultra kiddos and alumni) has motivated me to compete while I’m completing these races. The trick seems to be striking a healthy balance and maintaining a clear focus on the joy of just being “out there” each time.

My first MMTR 50 in 2014 came just six days after running the Marine Corps Marathon. It wasn’t a great recipe for a strong showing, and I managed to finish in a very slow 11:42. That’s always been a bit of a sore spot for me. MMTR is a tough race with a stout elevation profile: 

But, I've always felt that I was capable of running a better time on that course. Getting back to MMTR proved to be a bit of a struggle with other goals keeping me from returning. This year things worked out to return to MMTR. I had all this leftover fitness after the Grindstone DNF and no race to use it. MMTR was still open, Ginger was cool with me leaving town for the night to chase this particular windmill, so I took the chance. Here’s the story:

Rick Burleson and I decided to join forces and work together at MMTR. Rick is completing the BEAST series and he’s in great shape heading into the last bit of that race series. He had an impressive Grindstone and was fit for a good push at MMTR. We had both had some time to reflect on our motivations, and it proved useful for us to spend the day together driving up to the race. We had plenty of time to chat about our recent reflections. Running with Rick was even more useful. We had similar goals: Go out, have fun, be grateful for the chance to spend the day in the mountains, and go as fast and hard as we could. The number 1 motivation was: Enjoy the day and be grateful. The number 2 motivation, for me, was to race myself. I wanted to better my previous race, and truly explore what I was capable of on the course.

Our strategy was pretty simple. Run hard, but smart to Long Mountain/Wayside (mile 26ish), get in and out of the loop with legs to roll, and then burn the ships in the final 15.

Things played out just like that.

We pushed out of the comfort zone that sanity calls for when you have 50 miles on tap for the day in the first few miles of darkness to avoid placing ourselves poorly in the field at the start. I wanted us to be surrounded by people who would push us all day. We ran all of the early climbs and worked to keep the average pace around 10 minutes. Seeing some friendly faces (Leif, Henry, Mike Jones) was a big lift in the early miles.

After rolling through Robinson Gap, we took what the course gave us and bombed the downhills, logging some Sub 7 and Sub 8 miles to put some time in the bank. I’ve been working on descending this year, and that work paid off. My quads didn’t complain at all about the pounding. Rick’s clearly weren’t sad about the pace either as he was pushing me to keep up and just let the miles flow. Mindful of the goal to get to Long Mountain in good shape for the climb to the loop, we did hike some of the ups heading to the Long Mountain aid station. As we cruised down the flat last mile into the AS, we came around the corner to find Brett in a full Gingerbread man costume. Brett cheered us on as we rolled past and hooked up with Jordan, Kristen, Leif, Butchie, Henry, and the rest of the crew. They got us in and out quickly with fresh socks and full bottles to make the climb up to the loop.

Leaving Long Mountain, we encountered a very fast moving Rick Gray. Rick was having himself a DAY. He’s always such a joy to hook up with on the trail. His positive attitude and wealth of knowledge are always a welcome companion. Wanting to get to the loop in good shape, I just hooked up with Rick and tried to stick with him on the long climb. He eventually left me and went on to a great finish (Congrats, buddy! You inspire me).

I had the distance to the loop wrong in my head, so I had to adjust my plans a little on the fly, but things worked out OK, and I rolled into the loop feeling good. Rick Burelson and I got separated here and there but we eventually hooked up and ran the loop together. By then, the rain was pretty steady and the footing was bad. Those miles (33ish-38ish) went slower than I’d hoped. I basically lead a conga line of 8-10 runners through to the punch- talking some smack to Naval Academy guy who said he wanted to be a SEAL. I gave him some good natured ribbing about how that was a bad idea because he’d have to spend all of his pay on hair product, but that’s another story…

I came out of the loop and Jordy and Brett pushed me to just keep moving so I wouldn’t get cold. It was now getting pretty nasty out there, and I’ll admit I was a little tired. But, I was motivated. I was still hoping to somehow claw my way back on pace for a dream sub 9 hour finish. I knew that was basically impossible, but you know how I roll: Aim big.

I pushed the next descent as hard as I could and then settled into a hike on the second to last climb. Sub 9 was slipping away, but I wasn’t worried about it too much. Sub 10 would still be a big PR for me. I hiked the next climb and just focused on trying to get to the last climb and the last single track section feeling good. Here, I ran into a little problem with nutrition. I was cold and didn’t really feel like eating. I didn’t realize that I was calorie short until I took a little spill by kicking rock hiding under the leaves. I was getting a little fuzzy in the head and not picking up my feet. I laughed at myself and ate a gel. I pushed myself to run again and the same thing happened about 30 minutes later. This time, I ate 2 gels, popped in my headphones and decided it was time to go big or go home.

 Once I knew I had less than 5 to go, I just ran as hard as I could. I knew the last 3 miles were downhill and it was time to stop looking at my watch and just run. So, that’s what I did. With 4 to go, all the miles were sub 10. I realized at this point that if I just ran as hard as I could I could finish in under 9:42, which would be a 2 hour PR on the course. So, I just kicked it.

On the final descent, I saw Brett and Henry. They were out on the course letting folks know how far it was to the finish. Brett said: 1.4 to go. I emptied the tank. Mile 49 was 7:05. I was cranking. I had passed two people in the last few miles and now I had 5 more in my sights. Alas, they were too far up the road, and I ran out of course. I finished 47^th overall at 9:41 flat.

I could not be happier. Can't you tell? 

First of all, I had been seeded 224 out of a field of 279 runners. Beating my seed by that many places is a point of pride for me. More importantly, though, I managed to race all 50 miles and still remain focused on having fun. Sure, a lot of it was Type 2 fun, but it was fun. Jordy had told me that having fun and trying to go sub 9 were probably mutually exclusive goals. And he was right. But only kind of right. The fun for me still rests solidly in trying to do things that are really hard. If I have an audacious time goal to push for, it’s more fun even if I don’t reach it.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend the day in the mountains with my friends. And I couldn't have done it without this crew: 

I’m even more grateful that I have a hobby that lets me push myself and keep learning about how to be a better runner and a better person. Running teaches me both because of the shining examples of friendship, support, and joy that I get to see every time I go “out there” and explore. Thanks to Clark Zealand for putting on another great race. I appreciate the hard work he puts into his races and the support of all the amazing volunteers. 

Link to the Strava data

Thanks for all the support and encouragement. It feels good to end the running year on a high note. I’m looking forward to having some down time. I am really looking forward to hanging out with PT and supporting Ginger as she runs the Richmond marathon this weekend. She’s going to rock it out!